Last month a friend convinced me to go to a gay bar! (honestly, I almost never do that these days). I was drinking a beer while I saw a twink next to me looking at a man across the bar. I guess he was around 40 or so. He was handsome, natural and he didn’t strike a pose. He was himself. The twink turned to his friend and whispered something. Then they both laughed. I think I heard the word "old."
Well, I was like those twinks when I was in my early 20s. Back then, thirty seemed something very far away. And forty? You were basically dead. Guys of that age did not belong in the world of wild Saturday nights, hookups, and tantalizing possibilities.
Actually those giggling twinks are scared of becoming invisible. They think that when you are 40 years old nobody will see you anymore. But when I looked at that old guy, who was confident with himself, who didn’t seem to be bothered by what anyone around him thought of him, I knew that those two kids were thinking the wrong way around. Older guys don’t become invisible, we become free. So here is how I overcame that fear of becoming invisible, how I became free.
Continue reading for free
Join Gay Lazarus for free to continue reading this reflection and become a Founding Member of the private community. Founding Members receive lifetime access when the community opens on October 1, 2026. No credit card required.
Continue for Free